| What can I do when my child is being bullied? |
| Tuesday, 02 December 2008 16:55 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
 If you suspect that your child is being bullied at school, then you need to trust your instincts. Schools are a great place for bullies to build their reputation of power and control. First, let your child know that you believe that something is wrong. Don't try to "bully" the information out of your child. Be patient. Promise that you will not make the situation worse. Do not promise to keep it a secret, or that you will not report the problem. Do promise that you will not do anything without your child knowing what you are going to do. Be sure that your child knows that this situation will not get better on it's own, and that appropriate adult intervention is needed. Second, contact the school, once you know what the issue is. Before identifying yourself, ask what the school's policy is on keeping kids safe once they have reported a bullying incident. Do not give out any information until you have a satisfactory answer to that question. If the school does not have an answer for you, ask when you can call get to get an answer. Do not go charging into the school demanding justice. This will only make the situation worse for your child, and will likely embarrass him or her. Third, set up a meeting to problem solve your way through this situation with your child and members of the school faculty, including the teacher and the counselor. Your goal must be getting this situation solved, rather than seeking revenge. This is a highly emotional time for parents, and there is NOTHING tougher than seeing your child hurting because of another's actions. Your child deserves to feel safe and welcome at school. Be sure to keep that the focus in the meeting. Finally, once a plan has been set, check in with your child regularly, and the school periodically. Keep in touch with all of the support people. Trust your instincts with your child, and let the school know if the plan is not working,
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kttttttttttt
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i hate him this boy who is my freind bullyed me and made my sister cry he threw a crockroach that me and my sister dont like and he did really horrible things to me and my sister we think he is a great big bully i hate him so much i just wish he could never of been my friend.  |
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nena
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to all those pepole out there who are being bullied i have a little boost for ya hello i think kids who are being bullied should tell an adult. because they should gain confidant's in themselves and tell an adult because if you keep letting the bully, bully you then who will know whats going on in your own personal lives. you need help so stop letting the bully bully you like gin come self courage don't be afraid there wimps to they shouldn't pick on someone who can't defend themselves and there stupid losers for doing that peace |
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crystal
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... hey to those people who are being bullied stand up for your selves and don't take crap from those who are bulling you be strong and keep your head up highlove ya and god is with you peace |
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Ashly`
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To whom this may Concern Listen Bullies are just big jerks that think thier bad.. just remember they only pick on you cause you have more than they will ever have. But don't let anyone get in your face and mouth you let them know real quick you ain"t scared hit that kid! |
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Eunice
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to all those pepole out there who are being bullied i have a little boost for ya i am sorry they bully you and they bully me to because i am a nerd |
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Eunice
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To whom this may Concern ya i agree with that You should not get bullied and to kick that kids butt |
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mark
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we got to stop bully let make a team my name is mark anderson in my school a long time ago i got bulley i try hard to stop but it cap going 10 days later it stop now i can going on with my live i live in split lake bye now see you |
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Kimberly
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Ms. For all of the children who are being bullied, it is not your fault and you should not look down on yourselves but just know that that your parents and teachers don't want you to have to go to school scared to its ok to tell but when you tell make sure that the bully is close by and tell the teacher or principal. "He keeps picking on me" |
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tinki
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tinki oaaaaaaaap!, well me too, are being bully... but i just believe that one day this.. is over |
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stephanie
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... hello pplz me n my friend hate bullies they r mean n they dont have a life they bullie people because they feel bad about to themselves.. they want other people to feel bad to !!! well just tell on them n if they call u names ignore it!!  |
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Amanda
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Anti Bullying Hey, Bullying is not right, it goes against the Canadian Charter of Right and Freedoms so please report bullying to administration (someone who works at the school). Record all facts and details of each incident including the date and send a copy to someone in a position to help. A charity in Toronto is taking on the Anti Bullying Cause through a huge initiative to raise awareness and give people strategies to stop it. |
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Nameless
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Bullying I am 15 and I always get bullied by a malay gangster, his 4 non-gangster friends and a indian guy. I hate them so much and now I am always alone. |
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justice
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don't be silent Don't be silent about bullying. It may take alot of strength to face your fear...but thats how a bully rules...Fear. You won't be alone if you talk to your friends or a trusted adult. You can email teachers/counselors from home. It is not weakness to tell another person you need help. Bullying is a sign of weakness. No matter what happens you will feel better for standing up for yourself, for being the mature one. |
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Jen
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Being Bullied Hay I understand what some of you are going through, I myself have a nine year old that is being bullied, what do you say to them to keep them going and keep them wanting to stay at school? I always tell my son to stay away from them and don't associate with any one who does not want to be your friend, he says he plays alot at recess by himself and sometimes he plays with some of the boys. I tell him well you know you can't get in trouble being by yourself, I try to encourage him in everything, so I want to encourage you TELL, TELL, TELL yes you may feel we as parents don't understand and can't help but we can and we want to. hang in there okay to all of my new found friends. |
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Saundra Williams
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concerned parent Hi i also have a nine year old daughter who is been bullied since 1st grade. the school is not helping a lots. they only say that they will get to the bottum of it. my daughter one day walked home when she was still a small child. I tell her everyday to keep her head up. I feel as if their bullying is effecting her school performance and i was going to take her to a different school but, the school talked me out of it, but i think i should of switched schools maybe. to everychild out there please tell your parents about being bullied. |
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MOM#12354245
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4yr old bullied by neice My son has been bullied by my neice for a little while now. I thought that she would be discliplined out of it by now, but she is not. I've tried to tell her whats right and wrong, but she does things just because she can and will do what I told her not to-because she gets away with it. I told her many times, not to draw or color on my sons face- and she did it in front of her mother. Her mother did not say anything to her, and many times has not. However, I yelled my neice and told her to wash it off of him. Her mother was startled and took her daughter and left. Now, she is telling me that I degraded her daughter that day. I don't agree, and are hoenstly fed up with her and her daughters behaviors. Anyone have any suggestions for me? |
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Good DAD
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... find out what the bullies are saying to your kid and show your kids how to confront the bullies in strong way (yes if they have to hit them let them do it and have their back if they get a warning)trust me they will not mess with your kid again. ireally mean this the problem will not be fixed on it's own period. |
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andrew
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I'm being bulliedthe kids at school call me horrible names and hit me all the time now i'm scared to go to school, i refuse to go there ever again. I 'want to go to learn but i can't. I am in 5th grade and I wish I could quit |
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Betsy
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...I am very upset that my son is being subjected to physical and emotional abuse at the hands of a bunch of bullies. I went to school and they are trying to handle the situation bu tI'm left to deal with the emotional fallout. My son wants to stay at hoem all the time and now doesn't trust anyone. I feel so bad for him, he is a great kid . |
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MUM THATS SICK OF 9MTH OF HURTING MY 10 YR OLD DAUGHTER....
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... HEY. My Daughter has been bullied by this little s**t for 9mths. the school says we will get them in and talk to them ha ha what a joke that is cos 5 min later their back at it again.. my poor daughter said to me last night " mum i feel i wont to hurt myself and have felt like this for a long time". I have supported her through all this and the schools not doing anything.. i told the school today what my daughter had said to me. they said we will have a talk to her today. all they said to her today was how ya goin. she said im ok. and that was the end of the conversation .. whats with that.. im thinking of takin the kids out of this school. all i can say to her is be strong and dont show your fear. they are weak and your better then that.. she still crys to this day, but is finding different ways of standing up for herself.. kids can be so mean and we all dont need to put up with ppl like that we are all better then that and she is starting to see that..if we show them fear they will keep going . lets show these bullies we have no fear..... stay stong my heart go's out to all the family that r going through the same thing... kids of all agers. please speak up we r here to listen...xoxox |
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MOM TAKING ACTION
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HIT 'EM WHERE IT HURT$$$$$ I recently pulled my daughter from school after months of harrassment and am now in the process of homeschooling her until the next year. However, I have three more children moving up to the same school and I will not allow the staff and principal to ignore this anymore....I have to meet with the schoolboard to discuss the reason for my decision and I am going to DEMAND they impliment a program in these schools or ill pull all of my kids out along with other parents ive already organized and spoke with and we will campaign against the school and school board. School should be the safest place to be and it's the opposite. |
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concerned Nanah
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school should be fun Hello everyone...sorry to hear of everyone troubles..but glad to know I'm not alone...my grandson is have such a hard time in school...he is so afraid! He is chewing holes in his clothes...school is suppose to be fun a 6 years old. We are pulling him from school infact trying a new district all together... |
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betty boop
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mrseses my daughter got bullied that bad she came home in bruises and red raw,she then confessed it had gone on since the nursery but she could'nt tell me because the girl said she would hit her harder,the school totally denied this could happen,that was four year's ago.I never let her back to the school although she was to scared anyway-the bullying still goes on there even from what I'm told.Anyway she settled fine in her new school I never knew my girl was so clever they gave her so much confidence it was untrue,I found it hard to deal with what had happened to her it was wrong so cruel,and then the headmaster left her school omg it started again and guess what no-one listened to me, I asked her teacher does she show off or ask for this and he said no she's just a very pretty clever girl likes things organised.My daughter can't understand why everyone hates her and wishes she was dead.What do I do I don't how this 11yr old gets treated so bad its so sad to see her when she's down,but she takes it out on me of course,we need help please thanks |
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Alicia Brattain
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Bullying Hi there. My son who is 12 years old and in middle school is being bullyed every day at school. I just found out that it has been going on all year long. The school seems to be doing little or nothing to stop this from happening to him. His grades are falling and he is now talking about hurting himself. As his mother i am overwhelmed with this and very concerned. I don't know what to do. I have talked with the school several times and when my son talks about to the school staff, it seems that the bullying only gets worse. PLEASE HELP |
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Mollie
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Bullying in schools. I have experienced bullying of my children from nursery right through to final year 11. I have found that although schools may have antibullying pollicies very rarely are these implemented and the onus is on the victim and how they could change to fit in with the `in crowd`.In infant school my son had to wear a hi-vis vest, erm the bullies already knew where he was, and as he put it they spotted him straight away when he was hiding.The supervisor still turned a blind eye to the bullying.The school had my children isolated, to protect them, which is like punishment.More negative attention and another excuse for the bullies to tease.Well I am sorry to say this is a pathetic way of going about situations which ruin lives.The bullies should be made to wear hi-vis jackets, isolated and at high school expelled when they bully other children. From my experience, kids tell your parents, and parents just take your kids out of the schools if nothing changes in the first instance of the bullying because if the school dont appear to be tackling the issue then they probalby arent.Do not be fobbed off by a teacher saying your child is different.Every child is different and just because your child is at a different stage of developement (high achievers in my childrens case), this does not give other children (or teachers) a right to ridicule them. One of my children pushed through this bullying and put the anger into studying more and to do well, the other lost all interest in school work and now hates anything to do with school.Shame because he is so clever and could do well.His whole school life and educaton wrecked because of bullies and the schools inability to deal with a few yobs. A happy go lucky infant scrambled into a angry self hating teen because of bullying and not just by other pupils, the self hating stems from a headmaster(the biggest bully in the school he was attending at that time)calling him ugly at 6, which was complete rubish and very cruel. It is heartbreaking. My experience of bullying in schools which unfortunately seems to be the popular culture in the uk at the moment.From the uk. |
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Mollie
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... I also found that the bullying got worse when I went into the school, and I know why, the head of year marched my child up to the bully at break, right in front of all the other pupils and said this child (by name) said you are bullying her is this true, bully says not, the head of year says to my child she said she isnt so your lying, dont tell lies, head of year then walks off and leaves my child in the middle of the crowd of bullies who are stood wetting themselves and pointing at my child. Result my child was then on bullied and taunted by not only one bully but the bullies in each year group that witnessed this complete humiliation by the head of year.This same head of year then went on to do the self same thing to several other victims of this bullying gang and rather bizzarrely zoned in on my son for her `special attention` upon him joining the school 2 year later. Needless to say I pulled my son out of the school after year 8 as she was head of his year.The school has a problem with gangs(refuses to accept the problem, but now has two of its very own police officers in the school), my son recieved death threats and beaten on a regular occurance by a member of this gang, this woman denied all what I and other parents were experiencing with our children.She then followed my son round everywhere. Other kids used to take their skateboard into school, my son took his and she confiscated it then went out of her way to get them banned.These had been allowed until my son walked in with one. He was good at running and enjoyed pe, she put him in isolation for pe. He started a free running club with his friends, set a club up at the school, she barred him from attending. I moved home and moved him schools(different area), then when yr 9 was about to start I got a snotty call off her asking where my son was. She had taken over the next yr up year group, the one my son was going up into.I wish I could have seen her face because she was speechless when I told her he was no longer attending that particular school and she would have to find another victim. Sometimes it isnt just the children bullies that are the problem. If your child begs you not to go into school again and says they will put up with the bullying, my son was suicidal by this time, just move your child because some child bullies turn into teachers, and bullies never change they just turn into adult bullies. |
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Donna Collins
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Donna said And then there are the parents who raise pantywaists and beleive everything their child says. It's okay for the wimpy child to go around hitting other boys in the groin in the locker room after gym class or football practice but when some of the boys retaliate the wimp goes to Mommy and cries bullying. Is he not equally to blame for bringing the "so called bullying" on himself. In my day itwas called "PUTTING THE KID IN HIS PLACE" when the boys take care of things on their own? I know this isn't a very popular comment but get real people and lets not let this bullying situation get blown out of context like the harrassment in the workplace has. |
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Kevin Rodriguez
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Los Arboles Middle School in Marina, Ca 93933 My daughter gets jumped every day at school by a gang of girls. We had to take her to the Hospital yesterday for the same reason, black eye, knots on the forehead, etc. One of the girls who jumped my granddaughter is in jail due to the incident that occurred yesterday. I tried not to send her back to school, but I was told that there is only 28 days left and she must continued with the same school. The police are also aware of the situation, should I get a restraining order for the girl who is currently arrested. But what about the rest of the girl’s little gang who will continued on the same school. These people are bigger than my daughter, at least 30 of them. Please help. I am a desperate parent. |
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tammy
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Frustrated My daughter gets bullied in school as well. She is 18, has dealt with this and rumors since the 10th grade. The school sucks.. They do nothing.. She had an awesome senior until a few weeks ago. A girl who don't like her has restarted rumors from the years before. They had pere mediation and thats it. nothing is ever done.I'm to the point to contact the media or a lawyer. She has had so much emotional abuse and stress over it it's unbearable |
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Kristie
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why Today I get a call from a social worker from the state from my child school. No one from the school called me. My 11 year old son has been being bullied around this past year to the point that he writes letters to himself about ending his own life because of all the pain an hurt this young boy has caused my son. I have been told about this boy before from my sons teacher an my son. This boy has told my son he was going to kill his family an make his life hell. He has beat my son up in the bathroom, called my son all the nasty names you can think of. My son has told me he will sit in class an stare at my son with a mean look an lip to him I hate you. I never would have thought my son would ever think about taking his own life. When I went in today I read the letters my son has wrote. It broke my heart knowing my son was hurting so bad and no one not even the teachers did nothing. I broke out into tears an told my son I love you! WHY WOULD YOU WANNA LEAVE ME. I'm so mad at his school. They did nothing all they did was put them on diff sides of the classroom. I was told the P.E teacher pairs them together when my son has told him what this bully does. Florida has a law about bulling. And why does this school put up with this? My son life is now on the line an there better be awaking to this before my son pays the price with his life. |
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dale
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Kids being bullied I put my 9 year old in kick boxing lessons. No one bullies him anymore. |
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Vicki
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son is frightened to go to school For the past 18months my 10yo son has been bullied by the same boy. Name calling, attacked with pins and needles, fighting and damaging his school belongings and verbally abused. My son did retaliate once to the fighting and got suspended for 3 days, he has been placed in the lower reading groups and other subjects as well. my son has recently received a time out card where he gets placed into another class. he is a wreck, unhappy and cries, he hates that he is getting punished and the bully gets nothing. This is his last year in primary, i don't want to take him out at this time of year. Any ideas. |
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zach
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response to, "son is frightened to got school" go to the link below http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OH6TSrkCNlo I have been having this same issue. I am trying to skip school. The school system says (At least mine does) that if you skip school and they find out it is because of bulles then the bullies get in huge trouble. During shop class kids throw rulers at me and verbally trash me. My parents are really against me skipping school and I am really considering running away. Prove something to the school. And if the word, "lawsuit" is ever mentioned, it is always sure to get someones attention. |
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jason
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... It's like jail, if you don't physically fight back the first time they will keep doing it. |
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Ally
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why Kristie, I am so sorry about your son. But my son is the other way round. He was bullied during school days and now he is 18 but very defensive and vulgar cos he do not want to be bullied again. But what worried me is that he threatened his girl friend about harming her family if her family bully him. He even threatened to burn their house. I was worried even though I think he will not do such thing. He used to be a nice boy when he was young. But not now, he behave differently. I just do not know how to handle him. I am very sad and do not know what to do at this point of time................. I am lost and so is my son........... |
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