| What do I do if the teacher/coach is a bully? |
| Saturday, 09 January 2010 00:00 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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This is always a difficult situation because it involves someone who works directly with our child(ren). Document the reasons you think that the teacher/coach is involved in bullying behaviour. Set up a meeting with the individual and let him/her know that some situations have been brought to your attention and you need help clarifying some things. Approach the situation as a problem-solving meeting. Start by saying that this is a very difficult thing to have to bring up. Listen to the responses given, and see if there is a change in behaviour (escalation or de-escalation) or if things remain the same. If nothing changes or things get worse, contact the person at the next administrative level. Keep a very close eye on your child and see how things go for him/her. You may want to keep in contact with the person and let him/her know what changes you are seeing. *Note - this question part of the book "How Parents Can Take Action Against Bullying"
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Comments (26)
julie
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thank teacher is bullying my child first of all my child was bing bullied by other girls in school last year i filed papers with the head person at the school an they said they will take care of it . well it went on for 2 years with the same girls school never done nothing i have copys of the reports i filed adainst the girls. then last year on may 20th my child was hurt bad a girl beet the crap out of her an broke her nose she had to go to the doctor well i filed charges we had to go to court the girl got one year probation . this year know kid are bothering her but now teachers are picking on her kicing her out of class when she is not doing nothing . i have had texts from other kids in school about them telling me my daughter got kicked out of class i asked what happened an they said thet the teacher picks on her almost everydady , they said my daughter dont have to do nothing an they will kick her out of class , what can i do now ? this is been going on all this year . |
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The Man Who Dared
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Talk to the Teacher, Superintendent, Local News Save those text messages. Could be used as evidence. Talk to the teacher in question, have a conference. Contact the Superintendent. Contact the entire school board. Even let them know you will contact the local news if you are not seeing them doing anything about this. I've had a situation where even bringing up reporting to local news channels resolved it. It was about state issuance of funds, but never the less, it's effective. By the way, I was verbally bullied by a teacher in high school who hated my political and religious beliefs and had her try to turn the class against me. Government class, this was. I also had a substitute teacher in elementary school yank me out of my chair by the arm for, what I remember, I was not paying attention. I'll pray for your daughter. |
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Kate
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Talk to others If it is one teacher, talk to other teachers your daughter has. I have worked with teachers who I know were picking on students - but as a fellow teacher, my hands are tied. I'm not in the class with her, and I can put my two cents in with administration, but it gets shrugged off, since the other teacher is my equal. However, if any parent ever came to me (and I did try to contact some of them, but they ignored it - the teacher chose her victims well) I would have backed up the parent with the administration, and then consequences could have been brought to bare. |
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kenneth
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parent what do i do if my child come home from school with scrates on his back from a teacher and marks on his arms where the teacher grabed him to hard and i tryed going to the school board and they are just trying to cover it up, and mind you this is the 3rd in 2 weeks and now my son says his is scared to go back to school because he thinks it might get worse. p.s. i live in KY please someone e-mail me at confusedinpa182@hotmail.com thanks |
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Doug Soderstrom
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... If a teacher or coach continues to bullies you........ look them straight in the eye and say, " Cut the crap...... I am a human being, and I will not allow you to treat me that way any more so stop what your dong to me. And if you do not stop, I will make your live so miserabe, you will wish that you had never met me..... Do you understand? |
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Doug Soderstrom
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Human Being If a teacher or coach continues to bully you (as a student)........ look them straight in the eye and say, "Cut the crap...... I am a human being, and I will not allow you to treat me that way any more so stop what you're doing to me. And if you do not stop, I will make your live so miserable, you will wish that you had never met me..... Do you understand?" |
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sarah
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teacher prob I work in the same school as a classroom assistant my children. My eldest hates the teacher he is with he shoves books into his chest and just roars at him all the time. He is a slow learner and I sent him to a tutor and his confidence was coming back until he started to keep him in during their break for laughing at another boy that was being cheeky. It is so hard as i work there I went to the principal and the teacher never spoke to me for 3 weeks. What can I do he is a very thick man. |
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Margaretno1enimie
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Help I'm constantly getting bullied by my teacher margaret, she's turned some of the other teachers against me. I've told my mother and she talked to her it's not getting much better what should I do? |
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Margaret
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Professor of Education My daughter is currently being bullied by the high school track coaches and the AD is backing up their behavior. The are sarcastic, withhold emotional support, withhold coaching support, and tell her that she has a choice to run or get off the team. Meaning keep quiet or the AD will kick you off of the team. We went to the AD and she refused to talk to us. She told our daughter she was 18 (by one week) and that parents were no longer involved. The situation continues to be strained. We are currently in documentation phase. Any ideas of good research and courses of action would be helpful. |
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Angela Humphrey
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Help with school im 12 and moved to florida from indiana. i had a great school before, my teachers were like friends and parents. i had friends. now i got moved to an alc school because i was bullied and people hated me, especially the teachers. everyone hates me no kid talks to me and they treat me like s**t. especially one teacher and preps who are like 14. my teachers hear it but dont do anything. today we were watching a movie and someone said stop watching like they were my master, it was just another student, the teacher heard. didnt say anything. another person said get out of my classroom, didnt do anything. what do i do? one teacher was making fun of me because i told my mom. im all alone, and all anyone says to me is rude things. its hard to ignore. i laugh it off alot, but it still hurts. my moms adressed it, nothing happened. |
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sam
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-__-" ehh, help me ? Our class just got a new teacher and she is a total bitch. She always yells at me and my friends and is nice to the popular people. She always looks at me like im doing something wrong.It pisses me off. There was this one time when me and my friends were walking to track and she came and yelled to tell us to hurry up but hardly anybody was out yet. And she yelled at us for other pointless things. She's not always like this but it seems like mostly to me and my friends. She tries to act funny in the class when shes not even  |
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Cheryl
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Where do I stand when a teacher is getting physical To whomever can help, My middle son Jamie, has been having problems with his schools librarian who is verbally being abusive, but never where their are witnesses. This afternoon my son came home and told me that the librarian had again grabbed him and thrown him to the ground and held him there. The excuse was to calm him down! I have on both occassions gotten hold of the appropriate authorities within the school and be told they'd look into it. I'm sick of them looking into it, I want something done about it. Where do I stand, and how can I get the school to stop this behaviour?>  |
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Angel
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Bullied by a Coach My daughters were both bullied by a High School Coach and her Teacher friends. We told and we were sued. The very best thing to do is move your body away from a bully. My children both have black belts and could have ended the problem instead they did the right thing and told. Teachers, Coaches..Judges stick together. It's the Administration....same unions. Get away from it. |
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Richard Stone
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Coaches Bullying Students Our two daughters were bullied by their High School Dance Team coach. The worst of the bullying occurred after the Principal forwarded our emails of concern onto the coach. The coach retaliated against us by bullying our daughters. Our oldest daughter was a Special Needs student and was bullied the worst. We took our concerns to the Superintendent and even the Town Board of Education, but we were not taken seriously. Our complaints and concerns went unanswered as we were told the matter was a “personnel” matter and therefore could not be discussed. The bullying got worse when we hired an attorney. Having legal representation only made the school become more agitated and annoyed with us. Only through Freedom of Information Act requests and obtaining correspondences, including emails, of all school personnel involved did we discover the conspiracy and willful effort to deny our claims. A quote from one email written by the Superintendent to the Principal states, “If we continue to refute all allegations then we will shatter the accusations that come in from those parties who are trying to make things such a big deal. Hang in there…” We attempted to speak before the Town Board of Education and were denied to speak freely. A letter written to us by the Superintendent states, “If in the future if you plan to speak at another board meeting during public participation, please refrain from any accusations or allegations against personnel. It is against the board’s policy.” The efforts by the Town, the School and its employees involved to dismiss our claims were very strong, at times we felt powerless but it only made us stronger in other ways. Our attorney was most surprised by the schools lack of concern and unwillingness to resolve the situation. We have presented our case to the State Board Of Education Special Education Division over nine day’s of Hearings. The facts determined by the Hearing Officer was that there were “outrageous acts of bullying” by the coach and that the Board “failed to appropriately reprimand” the coach, “and in fact, the Board acquiesced in the bullying by demoting the Student and supporting the advisor’s outrageous behavior”. The Hearing Officer found that my oldest daughters Civil Rights were violated under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act. The school has sought to appeal this decision and we are currently awaiting trial in Federal Court. The local News channel recently covered the story and can be seen on youtube.com at, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWvEWzzBETU For all those parents that find it too difficult to fight city hall, don’t give up for what you believe in. In the end, justice will prevail and the findings will benefit all of us by forcing schools to be responsible and accountable for their actions, or in our situation, lack of actions. |
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Lady T
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DON"T GIVE UP!! Both Student-on-student and teacher bullying situations call for a variety of possible actions: You can talk with the teacher bully in person and have specific actions you want them to stop.Don't be intimidated. Try sitting in classes with the your child for a whole day, randomly, like once very two weeks for a few months.Observe behaviors. Who are possible friends? Take notes for possible evidence. You can always talk with the school counselor. Sometimes they have friendship groups or may have heard similar stories before. They might suggest a formal complaint as well. Attend PTA meetings and see whom might be willing to listen to your concerns. File a Freedom of Information Act(FOIA) form to see if other folks lodged formal complaints in other instances of bullying at the school. These folks would be natural allies/supporters. Who are other leaders in your community? Other people that are good resources include private counselors, clergy and law enforcement(especially if physical bullying occurred). Tell them the situation and see what they suggest. Are there any student groups formed around diversity, social justice or anti-bullying issues? Who is the adult adviser for that group? Often kids know about teacher bullies and student bullies but no one asks them. If you can get their stories, it will be evidence that something is going on. If you suspect your child is being bullied by a teacher, get a small recording device and have the child carry it with him/her through out the day in their pocket. It will be evidence later if needed. Suggest your child make an "ally" at school, someone who will help him/her when they encounter the bullying behavior. Perhaps a neighborhood child. As parent, you could ask the neighbor's child yourself. Talk to your parent neighbors too! Contact an anti-bullying organization such as ADL, National Coalition Building Institute(NCBI) or Olweus. They do trainings for schools. Also, try your local ACLU if you think the bullying is based on race, gender or sexual orientation. BOTTOM LINE: Do not give up. Keep asking for help from as many people as possible until you get it. |
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Doug Soderstrom, Ph.D.
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Licensed Psychologist If a teacher/coach/whoever in a school system continues to bully and/or berate you (as a student who has been behaving responsibly)........ look them straight in the eye and say something like this, "Cut the crap...... I may only be a student, one much younger than you, but that does not give you the right to treat me with disrespect! I am a human being created in the Image of God, and as such I am ordering you to cease and desist in your behavior, or I will make your life so miserable that you will wish that you had never met me!" |
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Akash (Student)
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Im getiing bullied by my old friends. Help me Pls help me i need suggestions.My old friends are rude they use verbal bulling o me and plus they started wrecking my bmx when i brought it new its my new bike and they trashed it with scratches . Pls Help me . My parents shouted at them a million times . Its not working they keep saying that i dint do i dint do . Help me  |
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Danielle
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Help! At the begining of my 8th grade year I was put into a Saxon Math class (WORST MATH PROGRAM TO USE)!! Anyway I had two math teachers Mr.G and Mrs.D. Mr.G is awesome he teaches the higher math classes pre alg to honors alg. Mrs.D is a horrible b***h. Mrs.D teaches the Saxon classes for grades 5-8. Well the class taught baby math and me and the rest of my class mates were miserable. We werent gonna be ready for the NJASK8. So I showed my mom the textbook and told her how the teacher yells at us and rolls her eyes at us if we had a question. And how she would just not shut up for the whole 45 minutes. So my mom went to my principal and the principal moved me up to Pre Algebra aka Mr.G's class (with no mrs.d)  . Well after I moved up she harrased me for like 15 minutes bothering me with her questions about why I moved up. My friend Kait also moved up and when she went to go hand back her textbook Mrs.D attacked her verbally saying I didnt recommend you to move up abd stuff like that. Now that she patrolls the halls that I walk down to go to my classes she yells at me. So now when I go return my textbook she is gonna harrass me. What should I do??, |
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