The insidious secret monster of hyperspace bullying

 

“The actions themselves – rumors, threats, gossip, humiliation – are nothing new. But among today’s adolescents – a generation of instant messengers, always connected, always wired – bullies are starting to move beyond slam books and whisper campaigns to e-mail, websites, chat rooms and text messaging.” Paulson (2003). These intentionally cruel acts are increasing in frequency as children gain access to cell phone cameras, and other wireless technology. (McLean’s, Jan. 2004)

 
 

Another new term for all of us to come to understand: CYBER BULLING. What is it? Where did it come from? What are the dangers of CYBER BULLYING? How can we protect our children? How can we stop it?

 

These are questions frequently asked by parents and educators. The answers are as complex and unsatisfying as many other attempts made to combat various social issues that have bullying at the heart of the intention. 

What is Different about CYBER BULLYING?

 

CYBER BULLYING has many of the same characteristics as more traditional forms of bullying such as verbal bullying, physical bullying, sexual and relational bullying, but there are some extraordinary differences. Any form of bullying has power and control as the central components.   The person doing the bullying intentionally tries to hurt, humiliate, harass embarrass or put ill at ease the person or persons being targeted. Bullies like to have an audience, and classrooms, soccer team members, playground break times and change room visits all provide a bully with an opportunity to bully in front of an audience. 

 

Sometimes, it may be that the only difference between cyber bullies and victims could be the click of the mouse. CYBERBULLYING.ORG says that youth need to be cautious about reacting if they receive a mean, hurtful message online. Walk away, take a break, delete, do not respond, re read your message, don’t retaliate. It is easy to cross the line and become a cyber bully yourself. 

 

WHY CYBER BULLING IS EVEN MORE EFFECTIVE THAN MORE TRADITIONAL FORMS OF BULLYING

 

Our children are considered to be the “Always Connected” generation. The current technology is outdated the very next day as our children keep pace with what work best, fastest, and is in fashion. Websites have “brains” to detect patterns of choice in users, humans and machines interface all day, everyday. Privacy is limited to whoever can read or see the screen, and access can be as far reaching as world wide. Cell phones kept discreetly in pockets have vibrations that can trigger children in classrooms. That vibration means another text message on the phone that demands a response. Children become extremely adept at texting using tiny keyboards, and some youth are able to use this feature by touch only. Messages fly back and forth in a type of cheap English (or other language of choice), where spelling clearly does not count. This form of communication is widely accessed by many youth and is accepted as an ongoing and fully accessible form of communication. 

 

Sometimes, these text messages have cyber bullying as their intention. Where more traditional bullying could have been easier to detect, CYBER BULLYING often goes unchecked as there are few to no checks and balances in the cyber world, and, for the most part, no interferences by the adult world, who can, in other arenas, fulfill the role of policing, monitoring and ensuring a moral and ethical foundation which then provides checks and balances in terms of behaviours and treatment of others. IN traditional bullying situations, children are taught to report to a trusted adult when they are being bullied, and adults take up some kind of intervention, which could mean isolating children from each other for a period of time. However, the child who reports to a parent that they have received threatening text messages may be in danger of being unplugged by that parent for their own safety, and in an adolescent world where being plugged in means being connected to your peer group, that is just too big a risk for many of them to take. Silence and endurance are often the strategies used to get through CYBER BULLYING situations. CYBER BULLYING can have the same devastating consequences as traditional bullying.  

 

CUBER BULLYING has the added benefit of anonymity, where the bully is often able to hide or disguise themselves behind hidden or stolen identities, or complicated and hard to trace web addresses. As in the more traditional forms of bullying, when confronted, cyber bullies will often justify their actions and try to explain-away their inappropriate behaviour. 

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