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Friday, 17 February 2012 01:00 |
A recent article, Bullying as True Drama in the NYTimes.com online magazine has looked carefully at how girls in particular use the terms “drama” as a way of downplaying true to life bullying events (Sept 22,2011). Researchers suggest that the term ”drama” is used to describe any number of social scenarios from the serious to the sublime, from the ridiculous to the entertaining. Calling an event as a “drama” downplays its significance to the social world and may be a way for the person being victimized to save face and make it appear as if the event was nothing more than just a moment in time.
“Drama’s” occur all the time in school between girls, girlfriends, teachers and students, over homework, disgreements, sadnesses, friendships found and lost and many other rare and common events. This label appears to be allowing so many things to be blamed on “drama”. Including acts of bullying. Is this a good thing? Maybe. Maybe not. I think it is true that using “drama” as a method to explain away behaviours that are unwelcome does allow victims to save face and pretend to dismiss acts of bullying. How can that be bad? The message sent out is more like ”I don’t care to be a part of your drama” rather than “stop bullying me”. Bullying downplayed by the victim. That might play out. It takes the power away from the bully, and puts control back in the hands of the one being victimized. It is similar to “ignore it” except that calling it “drama” gives it a name a and title, with less power and consequences than “bullying”. However, drama can have serious and long lasting repercussions and the challenge is; how can we distinguish between bullying as drama to deflate its impact, and bullying as seriously unsafe and dangerous with long lasting impact.
Children are still killing themselves because of being bullied. Bullies are still lashing out and killing others as an extension of their pain. It’s not just drama. It can be deadly. Where can we safely draw a line in the quicksand. |
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Wednesday, 18 January 2012 09:27 |
BULLYING IS NOT JUST A PROBLEM AT SCHOOL
Cindi Seddon
We know how damaging bullying is to students who have to endure that humiliation at school. We know that the long term effects of bullying on students has proven that bullies and their victims become more reliant on our health care systems, our social support services and tax our criminal corrections facilities. We have been working on our awareness of this issue and some schools and communities have taken great strides in building safer, more caring schools, and neighbouroods. Still, we have not got this epidemic under control.
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BULLYING IN THE WORKPLACE SURVEY 2011
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We know how damaging bullying is to students who have to endure that humiliation at school. We know that the long term effects of bullying on students has proven that bullies and their victims become more reliant on our health care systems, our social support services and tax our criminal corrections facilities. We have been working on our awareness of this issue and some schools and communities have taken great strides in building safer, more caring schools, and neighbouroods. Still, we have not got this epidemic under control. |
| Adults report, in a study of 500 people in the workplace, that 13-14% of them suffer abuse from their supervisors. Sadly, a common reaction to this abuse is the same as the reaction of children being bullied – withdrawal, a feeling from victims that this is their fault, an erosion of self-confidence and a drop in work performance. Other consequences not often raised are the effects of an adult being bullied in the workplace on the children in the home. Bullied adults may develop behaviours that interfere with healthy familial relations. Anger and frustration may be taken out on the children, withdrawal and feelings of inadequacy can interfere with parents being able to be proactive with their own children, and anxiety, depression and other mental health challenges are all possible consequences of workplace bullying. |
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In Canada and the Unites States, workplace bullying is against the law. Canadian law in particular (law) requires employers to provide information and in some cases training on workplace violence and harassment. For adults, the bottom line is that you must take action if you feel you are being bullied in the workplace. This is not only important for you, it is important for your child to see you take action for yourself – advocate for a safe workplace and put a stop to the bullying and harassment. This takes courage and commitment, and a belief that the situation will improve. Bullies need to be called on their behavior and called to task. That will only happen when people being victimized step forward and speak out.
For more information on this important topic,
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Government of Canada's Workplace Bullying laws and info |
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Article on news site
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Wednesday, 23 February 2011 18:28 |
The Morning After (Pink Shirt Day). Do we have a Pink Shirt Day addendum for today (and tomorrow) to carry on the “Say No To Bullying” message?
That’s the danger with one day events, even when they are hosted annually. They run the risk of becoming just what they are, one day events! Yesterday was a wonderful day; a sea of pink in schools and workplaces, everyone united in our efforts to stop bullying. Children wrote commitments, teachers made pledge sheets, schools had assemblies, politicians made proclamations, and lots of people re-told stories of their past experiences with bullying, with high hopes for the future, hopeful for a future free of bullying experiences for their children.
SO what are we willing to do to work towards a more peaceful future? What are the adults willing to model? We have had a call to action. We have been put on notice – put on notice to practise what we preach, perhaps not so much to stop bullying, which may not be as visible amongst adults, but rather to be inclusive and welcoming, kind and friendly (when appropriate), and to greet others and be helpful.
Here’s the challenge: Try doing all of the following as a model to others, including your children
- Greet all your family members purposefully in the morning (or whenever you first see them) with a smile and a kind comment. Research says that it is the first two minutes of interaction between two people that will determine the success of their relationship for the day. Parents who have to start their days with harsh words to their children to get up, or get a move on or eat their breakfast may want to re-think at least the first interaction and couple of minutes.
- Smile. Smile when you see someone you know and say hello. Wave if they are out of ear shot. Be welcoming. This is especially important for parents who are established at a school as they welcome new families. If parents feel welcome, their children will as well.
- Help someone in distress. Ask, “How can I help you” when you see someone struggling or juggling packages, or looking lost, and be sure your kids are there to see you offer.
- Smile when you answer the phone. A smile can be heard through the phone, and can travel around the world in a flash. Your smile will elicit the same from the person who hears it.
- Pay it Forward. Different than paying it back, pass a good or helpful deed forward. Ask that person to pass something good onwards next time.
- Say thank you, liberal and with meaning. When you really take just a moment to give a person a heart-felt thanks, it makes that person feel good.
Our Call To Action is to be the change we want to see, and to be the future we want for our children. Take the challenge and see what happens! |
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Saturday, 11 December 2010 09:56 |
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The numbers for this Fall’s suicides mount up, and bullying is being held accountable. Asher Brown, Seth Walsh, Tyler Clementi, Hope Witsell and Raymond Chase, all dead. All dead through suicide, committed by their own hand, all the (alleged) victims of bullying. These children will have no Christmas. These families will spend their first Christmas ever without one of their family members present. The communities that these children are from will wonder how to rally to support these families as they live through this sadness and family loss over this important holiday. Perhaps some of the kids and youth in these communities are wondering what they could have done differently that could have avoided this tragedy. Everyone feels bad. Everyone feels awkward and sad, and everyone wonders how to move forward.
We have to move forward, because there is no going back. In real life, there are no second chances. There is no do over, there is no repeat, rewind, redo or changing the ending. Dead people don’t get up. This is the end.
This is not a video game. In the video game world, the person on screen being shot gets up 9 more times before he or she is truly dead. But not in real life. The person bullied and picked on in the half hour “made for TV” show comes back in the next episode. But not in real life. In real life, every day is the final episode. Every action is the last time, the final play. The game is over only once. We are not going to meet next season for a rematch, next year for another round, or next week for another face-off. There is no fighting back once the children are dead. It makes no difference how sorry someone might be. It makes no difference to the outcome that no mistake, meaning no death, was intended.
How do we teach people that there is no rewind button in life. How many bullies would have done it differently if they knew the person they were victimizing was going to commit suicide because of that taunting?
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